My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
