It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
