I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
