My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
