Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
