I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this boner is exhausting
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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