Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
