so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
