a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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