it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
