My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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