I must be too annoying 4 u.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
