IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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