I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
this hospital has no fireball
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
