you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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