fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
