I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
