I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize