If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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