I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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