thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
