i don't like sucking hair
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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