one two three fourrrrnication!
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
