ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize