I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
