I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
