you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
