dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
