you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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