So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
