Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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