i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
