Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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