in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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