im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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