At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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