Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You dont lie about slip and slides
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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