I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize