Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
