PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
zippers are such a cool invention
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
