i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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