In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
