I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
