sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
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oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
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my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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