Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
