I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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