yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
