He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
