Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
