your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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