saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.