Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
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I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
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You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?