Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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