So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.