Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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