We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Alive.
So much puke
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
