Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
