I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
im on a boat
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