Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
