Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
