If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
