last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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