im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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