so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
