Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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