You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
