I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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