marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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