Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
