if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
