you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As shirtless as possible
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
