We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
