I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
